Boundaries

Life has been whispering to me about 'boundaries' for several months now. In recent times, this feels as though it has moved from a whisper to a very loud and direct message. Boundaries are a concept that many of us seem to know about, but also struggle to implement in varying areas of our lives. The more I work with clients, the more I realise just how important it is to have boundaries, and how having strong boundaries allows us to move with more freedom, safety, and flow. What specifically seems to be arising in recent times, is the need for boundaries in our relationships. Who are the people that feel good to be around, and who welcome you with open arms? Is it normal for you to wonder whether someone has time for you or will return your messages and calls? Do you find yourself feeling unseen and almost as though you need to win people over and prove yourself in some way? Alternatively, are there people who continue to pressure you with expectations and overstep your comfort levels? All of these come back to boundaries. I recently encountered a beautiful experience with my nephew that provided a little insight into boundaries, and perhaps, a simpler way to conceptualise things. Often, children are a beautiful example of how things can be prior to any unhelpful conditioning. I was playing with my nephew (11 months old) and as I did so, I found myself smiling and giggling, and simply enjoying being with him. All of a sudden, he came excitedly running into my arms laughing and smiling. As he did this, I felt a burst of warmth in my heart at how happy he was to see me and run my way. He knew I would greet him in just the same way. This is an example of a healthy and happy connection for both people involved. It was my enjoyment in simply being with him that seemed to perpetuate his happiness in being with me. As I noticed his enjoyment, I found myself feeling even more delight and so on. The interaction was mutual, safe, reliable, trusting, and enjoyable for both. Now, I am not saying that we are always going to feel high intensities of happinesss. What I am saying, however, is that a relationship with boundaries is meant to feel good. It's meant to feel safe. And regardless of what your experience has been in the past, you can create this in your life now. It does take some letting go and some planting of new things, however, it will be so worth it. YOU are so worth it.